A very common misconception in the body of Christ is in the understanding of fatherhood, sonship and mentorship. In this article, we will explore using biblical principles what it means to be a “father,’ “mentor” and a “son” in the faith.
Fatherhood and Sonship
“Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel.”
– 1 Corinthians 4:14-15 NIV
In the context of Scriptures, a father is one who guides another into maturity in the things of faith. The purpose of a father in this context is strictly for maturity and growth in the things of the Spirit. Conversely, a son is one who stays under the guidance and tutelage of a father for direction, maturity, and faith.
“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”
– 3 John 4
The essence of fatherhood, sonship or mentorship is beyond the optics of the association. The goal is mentorship. It does not mean you must become the exact image of the person you are following or being mentored by.
Similarly, sonship in the faith go beyond mere association for show or popularity. It is a journey of discipleship, centered on imbibing the teachings of the Spirit. This relationship focuses on heart transformation, guided by instructions, examples, and discipline.
The disciples did not become Jesus, but they became the goal of His instructions, examples and discipline.
Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled; and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus.
– Acts 4:13 KJV
This is also true for Paul’s relationship with Timothy and Titus. They did not become replicas of Paul but instead embodied the principles and teachings he imparted.
“But thou hast fully known my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, charity, patience, Persecutions, afflictions, which came unto me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra; what persecutions I endured: but out of them all the Lord delivered me.”
– 2 Timothy 3:10-11 KJV
To Titus, mine own son after the common faith: Grace, mercy, and peace, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ our Saviour,
– Titus 1:4-5 KJV
The core of fatherhood or sonship lies in instructions, examples, and discipline, with specific goals in mind. It’s not confined to doctrinal knowledge alone but extends to various life and ministry aspects like character, service, humility, and endurance.
In fatherhood and or mentorship, it is possible that a mentee or son is more informed or versed than the mentor or father. The concept is beyond just knowledge. Doctrine is not the only thing fatherhood or mentorship is for.
There are other life and ministry matters, such as service, character, selflessness, honour, humility, discipline, suffering, contentment, endurance, etc., which are learnt and caught through observation and followership. It is not hard to find men who are doctrinally versed but totally lacking in these things!
“But thou hast fully known my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, charity, patience, Persecutions, afflictions, which came unto me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra; what persecutions I endured: but out of them all the Lord delivered me.”
– 2 Timothy 3:10-11 KJV
Christianity is not only in knowledge, but also in character, organization, relationship and service. Thus, it will not be out of line for God to bring us into supernatural relationships (fatherhood or mentorship) with those we are more doctrinally informed than, so we can learn certain characteristics. Men and women have done great exploits, and brought great advancement to the kingdom with little knowledge! Hence, it is important to know exactly what God would have you to learn, see and become in every supernatural relationship he brings you in.
The Place of Age in Fatherhood, Sonship and Mentorship?
Fatherhood and sonship, or any supernatural relationship should not be about age, but about spiritual growth, grace, experience, practical wisdom, and the leading of the Spirit. What you lack by default, you can attain through association. This is the wisdom of God for supernatural relationships.
Fatherhood and sonship, or any supernatural relationship should not be about age, but about spiritual growth, grace, experience, practical wisdom, and the leading of the Spirit. What you lack by default, you can attain through association. This is the wisdom of God for supernatural relationships.
Hence, it is ignorance or carnality, or both to decide against being mentored by a man or woman simply because they are younger in age. Such a position can be very costly, in life and in ministry. Christianity and its ministry are not designed to thrive in isolation, but in association. We are as strong, effective and efficient as our supernatural relationships. We must not be sensual or sentimental about these things, but must seek to be led by the Spirit accordingly.
Also, your father or mentor in the faith and its ministry does not have to be a popular figure. He or she only need to be an example of that which God would have you learn from him, concerning the faith and ministry. Thus, he or she need not be an all-round example of perfection, as no one, including the apostles, was/is all round perfect. Only Jesus was tempted in all points as we are, and was without sin.
Commitment and Convenience:
Supernatural relationships are not a convenient-cruise arrangement. It is not something you flaunt when it is convenient and flout when it is not. Convenience is not the goal of mentorship. The disciples suffered following Jesus. Timothy, Titus etc., suffered following Paul. To exist in a fatherhood and mentorship only when it’s convenient, and exit it when not convenient is ignorance and immaturity.
Nothing of the Spirit, and by the Spirit thrives in convenience or ease! Offence is inevitable in supernatural relationships, but offence is not a scripturally justifiable reason for exiting a supernatural relationship. We exit offence, not supernatural relationships. We must desist in making everything about ourselves!
Beyond The Titles
Finally, mentorship, fatherhood and sonship is not in titles or position, but in responsibility. Using titles like “my son” or “my mentor” should reflect a sense of responsibility, not to boost ego or control but to convey the weight of the relationship.
When we truly understated the intent and extent of what it means to be a father and a son, and are yielding to the responsibility, there would not be any need to use the phrases “my son” or “my father.” And even when we do use them, it will be with every sense of the responsibility of same, and not to inflate our ego, complex, territoriality, ownership and control.
Everywhere the phrase “my son” was referenced in the Epistles, it is used to show the sense of the responsibility of the phrase, and not to flaunt self, in vain glory.
For this cause have I sent unto you Timotheus, who is my beloved son, and faithful in the Lord, who shall bring you into remembrance of my ways which be in Christ, as I teach everywhere in every church.
-1 Corinthians 4:17 KJV
To Titus, mine own son after the common faith: Grace, mercy, and peace, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ our Saviour. For this cause left I thee in Crete, that thou shouldest set in order the things that are wanting, and ordain elders in every city, as I had appointed thee.
– Titus 1:4-5 KJV
- Philemon 1:10-11 KJV
In all of the above, we see that every use of the phrase “my son” is to the end of the responsibility of same, with respect to the faith, its doctrine and ministry. Nothing more, or personal. God does not lead us into supernatural relationships so we can form a cult, but so the things of the faith and the ministry can be both taught and caught effectively.
Conclusion:
The goal of fatherhood and sonship is to the purpose of growth and equipping the saints for ministry. God has not called and anointed us to make and or raise sons and daughters unto ourselves, but to make and raise disciples to the Lord.
Fathers (and those who seek the responsibility) should not play God over the lives of their sons, but instead direct them to Christ as shown in Scriptures. Sons (and those who seek the discipline) should also endeavor to be led by God in the choice of a father and not by ego, popularity or wealth.
In all of this, God should get the glory, not any man.
God has blessed you.
